IT Department -- Hiring Unicorns Only

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CypherOxide

11/6/20232 min read

"In the world of tech, we may not be unicorns, but our tech skills are real and powerful. Embrace your abilities, keep coding, and let your problem-solving prowess shine."

The Quest for the Ultimate IT Professional

In the realm of modern technology, businesses increasingly seek a rather elusive figure in the IT landscape – the IT unicorn. This notion was once circling in my mind as I diligently submitted over 40 job applications each week, endeavoring to carve a niche in a field that has become densely populated with aspiring Computer Wizards, seasoned IT professionals, and experienced master technicians. As the candidate pool continues to expand, companies are elevating their job requirements to seek nothing short of an IT unicorn.

What exactly constitutes an IT unicorn?

It is an individual expected to possess a wide array of skills and abilities. They must be adept coders, skilled designers, networking experts, printer whisperers, and barista-level coffee makers, all while exhibiting cybersecurity acumen. Companies envision these mythical unicorns as singular replacements for entire teams, armed with their seemingly magical capabilities. A typical job description for an IT unicorn might read as follows: "Seeking an IT unicorn capable of systems administration, web application development, technical support, fluent in Elvish, with the ability to predict outages by reading tea leaves. A Master's degree in Computer Science and Cybersecurity is mandatory. Certifications such as CISSP, CEH, CCNA, CCNP, OSCP, MCSA, RHCSA, ISC2 are required, and any additional certifications are considered a plus. Expected salary: $53,000 per annum."

Furthermore, the expectation is that these IT unicorns should be available 24/7 because, let's face it, servers don't understand the concept of a weekend or a good night's sleep. After all, real unicorns surely don't need rest, do they? All of this, of course, without taking into account the paltry entry-level salaries that some companies believe are sufficient for these multi-platform, full-stack professionals.

Ridiculous Job Postings

Consider some of the outlandish and unrealic job postings: "Wanted: Junior System Analyst. Must be fluent in C++, Java, Python, [Klingon, Dothraki, and Morse Code]. A minimum of 15 years' experience with Windows Server 2022, computer peripherals, network engineering, cloud computing, Office suite, ERP systems, and possess at least 10 multi-thousand-dollar professional certifications. Age preference: 20-25 years." It's a wishlist of skills that seems virtually impossible for a single individual to possess. Nonetheless, countless qualified candidates, potentially including myself, find themselves overlooked in the quest for this mythical unicorn who boasts a never-ending scroll of qualifications and is willing to accept an entry-level salary.

What can we do to break in?

My fellow IT professionals, there is no need to despair. While we may not be unicorns, we are individuals with valuable skills, unrestricted resourcefulness, and a dynamic ability to adapt to an ever-changing world. With knowledge and experience earned through dedication and passion projects, we are fully capable of tackling any technological challenge presented to us. We may not brew magical pots of coffee, but we do brew innovative solutions.

DIY home labs provide an excellent avenue for gaining hands-on experience, allowing us to develop skills, experiment with new software, and create a safe space for exploration. By planning, designing, and implementing a workspace intended to dive into our respective fields of interest, we can create a digital training ground to develop experience working hands-on with technologies that are in high demand. The absence of physical work experience in a traditional office setting should not diminish the value of the experience gained through these endeavors. In fact, this type of experience could open other doors that remain unknown to aspiring professionals, showcasing the ability to design and implement creative solutions to problems instead of constraining ourselves to a purely administrative role.

Moreover, the cloud offers us a realm of possibilities. With cost-effective options available through platforms like Azure, Amazon Web Services (AWS), and Google Cloud Platform (GCP), we possess scalability and accessibility that align with our learning journey. With options ranging in price from free accounts to the tens of dollars, scalable options at low prices offer an alternative to expensive hardware-based lab environments. We can acquire expertise in migrating entire ecosystems to the cloud, utilizing orchestration tools such as Kubernetes and Ansible to manage expansive networks of servers or virtual workstations, and duplicating machines to expand our networks. We reside in an era where our curiosity can be accommodated with just an email and a few clicks.

So, continue to learn, maintain your confidence, and embrace your unique talents. While you may not possess a horn on your forehead, your aptitude for problem-solving is a powerful tool. Rainbow sherbet may not cascade from your fingertips, but you do possess the capability to devise any solution required, it only requires the will to do so and the creativity to find it. The pursuit of that elusive unicorn role is ongoing, but remember never to underestimate your own skills. If, by some miraculous chance, you do encounter a real unicorn, don't forget to inquire about their proficiency with Active Directory – I'd be intrigued to hear their response.

The relentless quest for tech companies seeking the legendary IT unicorn persists. However, let us acknowledge that while we may not be mythical creatures, our tech skills are authentic and potent. Embrace your abilities, keep coding, and leverage your problem-solving prowess to continue advancing the world of technology.

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